Recent reports suggest that TMZ fan favorite MAX HODGES may be having a hard time handling the stress of being Hollywood’s most dim-witted non-news reporter. It’s been suggested by some that Hodges is unable to detach himself from his work when he leaves the office, constantly offering up meaningless narration of what’s going on around him. “Max just needs to relax somehow,” says a coworker speaking on the condition of anonymity, “I mean, there’s usually nothing newsworthy about the checkout line at Vons, but he can’t stop reporting on it. He’s like, I got this guy in front of me at Vons, and the dude is totally losing his hair. It does NOT look good. But the best part is he’s got like, 5 packages of these huge steaks… I mean, the dude is grillin!” This non-stop non-news reporting has landed Hodges in hot water in places like the gym, the movie theater, and public restrooms.
Shown above, a woman confronts Max Hodges in a coffee shop, demanding to know why he’s verbalizing every little thing that transpires. She refutes part of Hodges’ report on her caramel latte order, saying “There’s nothing wrong with this blouse, you idiot.”
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in Story Counts, TMZ | Posted on 07-08-2009
Tuesday’s TMZ was another eye-opening look into the sweaty depths of Hollywood’s hottest stories. Fan favorite MAX HODGES delivered the inside scoop, breaking stories like “A Baby Elephant Born at the Zoo,” and revealed shocking paparazzi footage of A Celebrity Walking Around the Outside of Her House, when he offered his insightful commentary “I just don’t understand why she’s so upset about all this attention!” One thing you can bet Hodges DOES understand: The more articulate and better dressed Judge Dreads is out to get him!
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in TMZ, Video | Posted on 07-08-2009
In an unexpected admission on Monday, TMZ Toolmaster Harvey Levin revealed that he doesn’t think his show should be on TV. His revelation came during a hard-hitting investigative piece about Orlando Bloom walking to his car with family. During the footage, the TMZ cameraman is heard asking “Hey Orlando, are you a fan of bloomin onions?” Upon hearing this original and insightful question, Harvey Levin declared “We don’t deserve to be on the air… we really don’t.” Finally, Harvey… Something we completely agree on.
Monday’s episode of TMZ found challenger Dax Fashion racing head to head with TMZ fan favorite MAX HODGES. Dax Fashion matched Hodges story for story with hard hitting pieces of journalism like A Celebrity Has a Skinned Knee, and Celebrities Taking a Walk Along the Beach. In the end, Hodges was unable to best the hair gel hero, even by breaking the biggest stories in Hollywood, like A Celebrity Picking Up Take-Out Food and A Celebrity Walking to His Car.
Friday’s episode of TMZ was a battle royale of non-news tomfoolery. Despite his best efforts, MAX HODGES was unable to defeat Dax Fashion or Judge Dreads. At one point, Hodges became so flustered he referred to a baby as a “Twenty-one month year old.” At this time last year, Dax Fashion was considered the prime contender to challenge Hodges for the title of non-news nitwit extraordinaire. In recent months, however, he has settled complacently into a supporting role, only to emerge late last week to seek The Title once again. Judge Dreads has been giving Hodges a run for his money. The chime-in master scores more points than any other non-news non-personality, and last Thursday beat Max into humiliating submission with a crushing victory.
Shown above, Dax Fashion reacts to speculation that he may have won the day’s Story Count Title, flailing his arms and jumping up and down as the results are tallied
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in News From Gus, TMZ | Posted on 07-06-2009
Recent review of the LTPA HodgesReport mailing list has revealed that, with the exception of Gus’ mother and our friend Andy, every other subsribed email address appears to belong to individuals from TMZ’s legal department. Gus commented on the discovery, saying “I’m a little surprised they like the website so much.”
For those TMZ legal staffers not yet on our list, the “MAX HODGES UPDATES” signup box is located in the lower right hand side bar of this page.
Pictured above is a screenshot of randomly sampled email addresses from LeaveThesePeopleAlone.org’s HodgesReport mailing list.
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in TMZ | Posted on 07-06-2009
In a failed attempt to make the difficult leap from “bad celebrity non-news presenter” to “successful pop music artist,” TMZ’s Chubby Spikey made a pitch to ringmaster Harvey Levin on Friday which can only be described as horrific. “I got that Chubby Spikey guy from our show,” Spikey began. “He’s singing ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ during the morning meeting, and the guy is actually REALLY GOOD.” At this point, roly poly himself launched into a rendition of the Righteous Brothers classic which brought tears to the eyes of Cake Decorator. Levin ordered the clip removed from the final cut of Friday’s show, crushing Spikey’s hopes of being discovered.
He’s done it! On Thursday’s episode of TMZ, JUDGE DREADS sentenced MAX HODGES to a humiliating defeat at the hands of Dreads, Chubby Ballcap, and Gold Digging Slut. Coming in with an astounding 6 points (all of which were chime-ins, of course), the Judge was unquestionably the non-news MVP and performed almost as disgracefully as Hodges usually does. We couldn’t be happier for him. Other noteable non-news performances came from Chubby Ballcap and Gold Digging slut, who left Hodges in the dust with scores of 5 and 4, respectively. With a story count total of only 3 points, Hodges was unable break free from challenger Dax Fashion or mangy mutt Droop Doggy Dog.
Typically the most prominent non-news presenter featured on TMZ’s daily broadcast of uneventful footage, on Thursday MAX HODGES performed like a fat old man in a jumping jacks contest (typically Chubby Spikey’s job). Before Thursday’s filming began, we’re told Hodges glared at Judge Dreads from across the room, saying “You better keep your mouth shut during my stories, Dreads!” When reached for comment, Judge Dreads explained “Oh, I didn’t think anything of it. That’s how Hodges greets me every morning.” After the morning meeting, Hodges spent an hour arguing with the Judge over who’s shirt has more stripes.
Recent review of the LTPA HodgesReport mailing list has revealed that, with the exception of Gus’ mother and our friend Andy, every other subsribed email address appears to belong to individuals from TMZ’s legal department. Gus commented on the discovery, saying “I’m a little surprised they like the website so much.”
