Here at LTPA, it’s a sad fact of life that people in some parts of the world are not as interested in MAX HODGES non-news as people in other locations. For example, we get plenty of visitors from the Philippines every day, but Hawaiians logging on are fairly rare. Over the weekend, however, anonymous sources revealed that TMZ Kingpin Harvey Levin and/or one of his lowly henchmen likely took time away from a beautiful Hawaiian vacation to catch up on the very latest Max Hodges non-news and disinformation at HodgesReport.com. An independent check of recent visitors to the site verifies that Waimanalo, Hawaii did indeed log on to HodgesReport.com during the the specified time period. At worst, this is quite a coincidence.
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in Real Hodges, TMZ | Posted on 09-01-2009
Harvey Levin does a shocked double take to get a better look at someone he thought was Helen Hunt walking out of a hotel lobby.
Sources report TMZ Toolmaster Harvey Levin is enjoying some much needed time away from Los Angeles… much needed by the rest of LA, that is. A friend says that Levin, who reportedly maintains a ridiculously strict tanning regiment, is frolicking around the Hawaiian Islands and likely enjoying alcoholic beverages. It is believed that Horrible Harvey will also be partaking in a variety of other activities typically of great interest to TMZ reporters:
-Eating at restaurants
-Riding in cabs
-Going to the beach
-Walking through airports
-Buying pants
-and much, much more…
Stay tuned for developments in this EXCITING piece of non-news to see who will get to hold Harvey’s dry erase marker today!
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in Real Hodges, TMZ | Posted on 08-31-2009
Chubby Spikey sports last Thursday’s black T while refusing to admit what his paymaster is guzzling down each morning.
TMZ’s often underrated and always overweight Chubby Spikey fielded some questions in a wide angle live stream just moments ago. In the broadcast’s strange and desperate last moments, the sweaty beast went to great lengths assuring viewers that Toolmaster Harvey Levin is not drunk during morning meetings. Levin’s overly dramatic reactions to things like celebrities eating sandwiches and walking to their cars seem to have made viewers suspicious about what’s in his sippy cup. According to Chub Spike, the contents of Harvey’s secret sauce cocktail may be revealed next season. … Sadly, this comment hints that there may be another “season” of TMZ on the way after this one. Damn.
We all already know what TMZ’s MAX HODGES thinks about gay marriage. Now, in a shocking discussion with his non-news cohorts the “fan favorite” has revealed that he himself will not wed for at least another 20 YEARS! Unconfirmed sources suggest Hodges’ reasoning could be “there are just too many baby babes out there just being born who are gonna be super hot in 19 or 20 years.” This would land Hodges squarely at 48 years of age before he’s ready to tie the knot. Upon hearing this news, Chubby Ballcap screamed “MY MOTHER WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU, HODGES,” and waddled out of the room.
It’s been a while since we at LTPA tallied up an official TMZ story count. We kept score during the Tuesday morning meeting… and the results were shocking! Gone are the days when Dax Fashion raced neck and neck with MAX HODGES, literally wining by a nose. Gone are the days when Judge Dreads chimed his way to triumphant victory over Hodges. Gone are the days when Chubby Spikey could speak up with enough self respect to stand a chance against Hodges. Now it seems Lane Meyer and the rest of Harvey Levin’s namby pambies are content to sit back and watch their beloved TMZ become a Max Hodges Gigglefest Extravaganza.
After narrowly missing out on the “World’s Sexiest Man” title and his eventual disqualification from the “World’s Cutest Baby” competition, MAX HODGES has popped up on a Fancast blog posting entitled “10 Sexy Stars Who Heat Up Summer TV, Including Max Hodges.” Not only does Hodges’ name appear in the title of the post, but his write up is nearly three times as wordy as the other nine people. He also appears to be the only one who granted Fancast an interview… we find this very interesting. After some brief gushing over the genius of Harvey Levin, the interviewer addresses Hodges’ thoughts on LeaveThesePeopleAlone.org:
“He is aware of some websites* that follow his every move and on-air utterance but doesn’t take them seriously. ‘I try not to look at that stuff,’ he says. ‘I just try to live my life.’
This is a bit of a contrast from when Hodges told LTPA in October “I THINK THE SITE IS FUNNY.” The sensible follow up questions that come to mind are “Wouldn’t you expect a similar statement from the people TMZ constantly bothers about non-newsworthy events?” and “How do you reconcile that?” Of course the interviewer foregoes any followup, but seriously Hodges, how DO you reconcile that? That’s pretty much the point of this silly website and it sounds like you’re awful close to a breakthrough here!
A screenshot of a past correspondence from Hodges to LTPA via Myspace.com
*”Some websites?” Are there other websites devoted to reporting on Max Hodges that we’ve missed thus far? info@leavethesepeoplealone.org
We occasionally get messages from people who’ve seen TMZ’s MAX HODGES somewhere other than their TV screens. Celia shared this touching story with us recently, and we’ve been meaning to pass it on. It’s a heartwarming tale of Hodges at a dentist visit, where he may or may not have introduced himself as “Max Hodges from the show TMZ.”
Celia G writes: Met Max at my dentists’ office. He’s well liked, well regarded, and very sweet with & to the staff. I had no idea who he was & thought he was just another cute client til he (w/very good manners) introduced himself and indicated his Job description- huh??? “No Way!” I said, and observed he’s the polar-opposite of being the self-described air-head on TV he claims to be. He was good-natured at my shockingly-forward rave about how cute I thought was -to his face, and smilingly tolerated my over-the-top enthusiasm about he “looks better in person” babbling too. Sigh, This guy’s a Tall, Healthy, Dreamboat if I ever met one (Great Eyes, Wow Smile!) and I hope his good humor, attitude and intellect take him wherever he wants to go in this life . . . Sure wish I was the Lady he’s lookin’ for when its time to settle down. . . maybe teach to surf into the endless summer with, whewww . . . what a nice guy. ; )
P.S. … yeah Max, thats me, that short, fat, homely, over-the-hill latina lady u met when u were in San Clemente w/a friend in Jan. Sorry if I embarrased u when we met.
This is a visual guess of what it must have been like to see Hodges in the dentist’s waiting room. By the time we got there, slippery Max had escaped.
“The great thing about being gay is no one expects you to get married, so you can go around and screw everybody … I don’t know why you’d want to get married if you’re gay. You get to go screw everybody you want.”
Our September 2, 2008 post showed TMZ’s MAX HODGES eloquently expressing his opinions about gay marriage and homosexuality in general. The accompanying video was promptly removed from youtube at the creator’s request (the creator of the video, not The Creator). It is now posted for public viewing again by it’s creator (not by LTPA). If you haven’t seen it already, click this link and hear Max explain his views on gay marriage.
Gaining notoriety as “that one dude from TMZ,” MAX HODGES was sighted at the Tony Alva skate shop in LA attending the Pnut X Alva Art Show. Sources tell LTPA they were unable to obtain photographic evidence of Hodges’ attendance because he spent the majority of the evening in the bathroom. However, his appearance at the art show is independently corroborated on the ESPN Skateboarding Website.
This week TMZ’s MAX HODGES made an attempt to call another blonde stupid. Taking a page from the book of Biff Tannen, Hodges lashed out at a blonde woman who didn’t know Paris Hilton’s boyfriend’s name, saying that she’s “not the smartest tree on the bush.” Several seconds later, Max began to realize that his moronic utterance made no sense at all and tried to redeem himself with a sad “not the smartest leaf on the tree,” which also makes little-to-no sense. Generally one tree is not considered “smarter” than the other, let alone one leaf of a tree being smarter than others. LTPA would like to suggest a few alternatives for Max to consider next time.
-Max Hodges is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
-Max Hodges couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
-Max Hodges is as sharp as a wet sponge, and twice as smart.
Of course, anything we suggest in print is hopeless, as all reports suggest Hodges can’t read. Many believe Hodges’ idiocy may be an intentional ploy to boost his “celebrity douche bag” status. When questioned about this claim, Hodges replied “What the hell does ‘ploy’ mean?”
