HodgesReport.comConstantly Reporting on TMZ Reporter Max Hodges

No one was able to stand in the way of MAX HODGES completely dominating yesterday’s episode of TMZ. The TMZ superstar left everyone in the dust with an INCREDIBLE 10 points! That’s more than anyone else has achieved on episodes of TMZ, and a personal best for Hodges himself. It should be noted that Hodges magnificent performance came on a day when Dax Fashion, The Challenger, was out of the office.

Yesterday’s Story Count:
-MAX HODGES: 10
-Big Momma: 4
-Balding Lisping: 3
-Chubby Spikey: 2
-Chubby Ballcap: 2
-Chubb Pastey: 1
-Lane Meyer: 1 (new hair style!)

FROM LEFT: The more traditional fork/spoon hybrid, the SPORK; Hodges’ new invention, the FOON.

As a follow up to his wildly popular Inside-Out Burrito, TMZ’s MAX HODGES has introduced his next remarkable invention, the FOON. When compared to it’s chief competitor, the Spork, the FOON is incapable of spoon-like scooping or fork-like stabbing. When asked what the FOON is actually useful for, Hodges replied “It’s for eating, stupid.”

At a time when families across the nation are coming together to give thanks, TMZ’s MAX HODGES has barricaded himself in his bedroom, upset that his mother moved his Babysitters Club Books to the attic. When LTPA arrived on the scene, Hodges was heard wailing from his bedroom “THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE BOOKS!!!” Mrs. Hodges calmly explained that she put the books away upstairs because there was simply no way Max could read them. Seemingly unfazed by the 27 year old’s temper tantrum, Mrs. Hodges told us this has happened several times before with Hardy Boys books, Mary Kate and Ashley videos, and his G.I. Joe collection. “He usually stops crying within a few days.” she says, “but the bed-wetting could go on for weeks.”

Poets and scholars have often written that there has never been a love so passionate and devoted as the love MAX HODGES has for the band Guns N Roses. When considering this, it becomes very hard to understand why TMZ can’t even spell the GNR lead singer’s name correctly. Spelling errors are no new trick for Max Hodges or his non-news organization, but if there’s one subject he’s supposed to not be completely dumb about, it is Guns N Roses. Shame on you, Max Hodges. Shame on you!

Rose legally changed his name to “W. Axl Rose” in 1986, and had the moniker tattooed on his arm.

In an apparent act of hacking on Thursday of last week, LTPA’s administrative passwords were all of a sudden rendered useless and our staff was unable to access HodgesReport.com. It is unclear whether this attack on HodgesReport.com was the work of Max Hodges himself, a friend of Hodges’, or possibly a random act of cyber-terrorism. We’re happy to announce, however, that after several days worth of troubleshooting, tech support calls, and prayers, we’ve regained control of the website and are resuming our coverage of TMZ and MAX HODGES. If you have any information or theories about who might be behind the recent apparent hack of HodgesReport.com, we encourage you to contact us at tips@LeaveThesePeopleAlone.org. Anonymity guaranteed.