9/2/09: Shock – Hodges a Centaur?!?
Posted by LTPA Staff | Posted in Best Of Hodges, Hodges Gossip, Hodges Out and About | Posted on 02-09-2009
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A very exclusive LTPA investigation aimed at revealing the reason why TMZ’s MAX HODGES is only ever shown in “sitting on desk” position has uncovered a shocking secret that will rock the celebrity news reporter non-news world! The program’s unfortunate viewers, along with the readers of this website, know that Hodges is always the center of attention. But what no one ever suspected is that he’s also the centaur of attention! TMZ production staff has been hiding Hodges’ horse half with desks, cubicles, camera techniques, and lesser employees. When cameras are not rolling, however, sources reveal that Max is great fun around the office, offering centaur rides for only fifty cents*. It’s not all fun and games, though, as Balding Lisping explains: “Sometimes he takes gigantic dumps in my cubicle… but overall it’s kinda neat working with a mythical half-man half-beast.” This discovery sheds light on Hodges’ aversion to shirts and the enormous weekly carrot deliveries at TMZ headquarters.
*($0.75 for Chubby Spikey, Chubby Ballcap, and Chubby Glasses) |
Actually, to be technically correct Hodges is a metacentaur having the torso of a man, body of a horse and penis of a small growth-inhibited asian boy.
Mark Wilkins, PhD
Cryptozoologist
University of Bath
I really think it’s because he’s most likely a short dude. Does anyone know how tall this guy actually is?